The Dirty Side of Travel

       Here I am sitting in the Barcelona airport at 4 o'clock in the morning. Every single Spaniard that passes by has stared at me and my home girl. And, although I feel a bit like a circus side show attraction, I can't blame them.  Home girl is lying next to me dead to the world under a mountain of of blue camping blanket, and I am sitting here with bare feet that are dirty from dancing through abandoned terminals and eating a foot long cucumber like an apple. 

 I flip through breathtaking, postcard-worthy photos and slightly infantile sketches depicting all the sights we have just experienced in Iceland. I may post one or two but I wish that I had other, better pictures to post. Because, people wont understand anything of the experience from that waterfall photo. They will repeat something to the echo of "oh traveling is so glamorous and wonderful" but it is not these moments that changed me. 

I wish I had a picture of us rocking every layer we packed with socks and sandals through the winter tundra of Iceland because we didn't want to have to pay for checked luggage or carry heavy boots on our hike across Spain. I wish we had a picture with the painter who brought us into her warm house, gave us tea, and let us use her wifi after we got lost on dirt roads and got locked out of our air bnb. I wish I had a picture of our many dinners of street hot dogs or of chips, cookies, and peanut butter (because food is sky high expensive in Iceland and their hot dogs are bomb). These are the moments that I cherish. These are the moments that change me. 

They are anything but glamorous or dignified. But that is the best part. Life is not a string of waterfalls with rainbows coloring the mist. Sure, the goals and plans of getting to see those are present and important, but it is the obstacles in life that bring you so low that you just have to sit in the sulphur mud and laugh, those are the ones that really change you. And I wouldn't have it any other way. As one of our hitch hiker friends would say, " I wouldn't trade the company with me in this sh*t for nothing." 

      All this is to say, in life and in travel, learn to savor those unwashed and unkept moments. Learn to embrace the unknown and the unsure, because you cant very well be pleasantly surprised if you have planned and researched every step of the way. 

Stop Making Christian Femininity Fluffy

The Catholic/ Christian churches are telling you a lie.  Ok, maybe that is extreme, but they are giving us something to strive for that is only a small part of the picture.  What should a Christian woman be? Meek? Humble? Receptive and vulnerable? These are all things that I have heard endless speakers in high heals and books with pink covers drone on and on about.  Those are all beautiful and necessary things, but they are not easily attainable. Have you ever tried to be meek or humble? Let me tell you how it turns out; you strive and strive and strive and then you stop and say "hey I am doing a great job" and all your work is undone. These lofty goals have been given to Christian women with no blueprint to guide them there.  It culminates in women feeling insufficient and guilty for being a bad Christian.

 

(I have never read this book and it may be fabulous but a pink flower in a shopping bag does not make me in any way confident or want to be a woman)

So, let's look at the examples that we often see portrayed for us. I believe the two women most commonly presented as mentors in the faith is Mary the mother of Christ and Mary the sister of Martha.  The first Mary is often portrayed with delicate white features and a sickeningly sweet, soft voice that can not belong to anyone but the most naive and shy individual.  Mary #2 is seen as a quiet smiling woman sitting at the feet of Jesus looking serenely at Him as he rebukes her sister for working.  Well, this portrayal isn't cutting it. This dissatisfaction with the basic "feminine ideal" can be seen on the walls of most of my college girl friends who have "She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future" (Prov 31:25) emblazoned in some prominent place.  This quote shows a fierceness and boldness that matches our daily life in a much more real fashion. So where is the example for us to follow?

Let's look again at the two Marys mentioned before. Mary of Nazareth said yes to an angel who told her that she was going to be a potentially single mom and have to take care of the biggest responsibility in the history of the world.  She says yes without skipping a beat and proceeds to jump on a donkey alone to go take care of her cousin. She comes back and turns right around for another trip on a donkey to go have her baby in a cave before booking it to Egypt running for her sons life.  The other Mary many believe was Mary Magdaline. She was a prostitute who decided that she wanted to see Jesus so she broke into the house of the people that had previously tried to stone her during a dinner party and walked straight up to Jesus to take care of His feet because Her Savior was not properly taken care of by His hosts.  Both of these women were incredibly tough, resilient, and courageous.  The bible gives many more examples such as Jael, Judith (both killed tyrants), Ester, and Rahab who all risked their lives to save whole nations.

Yes, these women all had all of the gifts that are so often discussed, but they had faith because God had helped them in incredibly dangerous times, they were receptive because they had made the choice to act with God's plan, they were meek and humble because they saw the power of God, and they were serene because they had experienced times of turmoil.  They were strongest when they were called to act out of love for another. It was in self-gift that they found power and might.

We are called to change the world in radical ways. We should not be afraid. I challenge you, as a woman of God, to accept this mission and to be willing to take the jump and live fearlessly.  Do not be ashamed or daunted by your passions, your abilities, or your role in life. This is true femininity; acting as we were meant to in love. Go out and follow in the footsteps of the saints.

"I am not afraid, I was born to do this" - St. Joan of Arc

Footnote...So when I was looking up how to spell Jael I stumbled across this article about women crushing the heads of evildoers in the Old Testament and how that points to Mary fulfilling Genesis 3:15 as seen in Revelations 12. Here is the link and also a picture of a statue of Mary being awesome.

The article

I own none of these pictures

A Beautiful Mess

I am going to tell you something a little silly so bear with me.

The other night I came home from work (it was a Friday) to an empty house and a mound of homework.  I sat there and all I wanted in that moment was to look pretty. No, there were no self-esteem issues involved, I just was tired of taking lightning fast showers at 6am and wearing sweaty t-shirts and crazy messy buns while running around with kids all day. I just wanted to feel like a woman in all her feminine finery. So, I took an hour to do full make-up, hair, and perfume to accompany a red dress and heels. I then waltzed down the stairs, sliced myself some brie cheese and buckled down to a night of Statistic homework in my full regalia. Now, for those of you who don't know me well, this seems just goofy, for those of you who do know me well and know how rarely I even put a little bit of mascara on, it is shocking. But there I was looking pretty.

        The next day, I woke up, jumped in the pool, and headed off to hike a long, hard, and rewarding trail with a good friend who was visiting from out of town.  The views were breathtaking, the cliff faces impressive, and the company sublime.  My friend would stop at every overlook jumping up and down saying (in a British accent) "It is just, simply BEAUTIFUL!!!!!" But, I realized after coming home today with cuts all over and smelling horrible, that I too felt "just, simply beautiful!"

       This phenomenon has happened to me time and time again where in some of my more "bushman" moments, I feel the most like a woman.  I realized it is because I shared something with the mountains in that moment.  To be beautiful is for there to be a gentle strength, a melodious sturdiness. Another close friend remarked that the beauty of nature lies in the chaotic order, and what better way to describe the beauty of a woman.
         Despite what google images displays, beauty is not just a face well done with make-up, it is the chaotic order that makes up a woman; her emotions, her movements, her drives, her words, her looks. These are all un-comprehendible, and yet, it is this combination of seeming contradictions that make a woman share in the beauty of the world.  You would never describe a man as beautiful. No, he is "strong, handsome, brave, daring," but these words are so simple in comparison to the words describing women - "enchanting, radiant, captivating, beautiful." These are words that require a complexity far beyond one physical or emotional factor.

           All this is to say, that when you confuse even yourself, or when others ridicule you for not being "simple" or for "not making sense," don't try to change yourself to be one of the boys, to fit in. I'm not saying that this is a license to be dramatic or petty, but it is a challenge to be something so much more.  Take the leap, dive in, and be beautiful.  

I am Beautiful: I'm Not Afraid to Say It

       There are times that I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I am beautiful!"  For years I thought that for most women (in the words of one comedian) "at some point in their lives, there is a night that they know they may secretly be a model." But, I'm starting to find out more and more that this is far from being true.
        

            

                Women tend to cut, starve, contour, and pose their body, face, and personality while aggressively trying to dodge and deflect every complement that comes their way with a vigilance and a rigor that places them on the level of the FBI. They carry this habit into the songs they sing, the books they write, and the education that they give their children by example.  Yet, the more that they scrape down their confidence, for some bizarre reason, they become more and more unhappy! Why do we do this to ourselves? What purpose does all of this energy and effort work towards? Not only is it a miserable way to live, but it is also a direct rejection of God and His gifts.

      Now, although, the Bible warns against pride time and time again, it never condemns and, in fact, it praises those who are confident in themselves as the Lord's creation.  So often the way women talk about themselves seems to imitate Puritanical views of humans being " the scum of the earth" and our bodies being "corrupt" and "evil."  These views stand in stark contrast with Bible verses such as Psalm 139:14 which says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

       

        We believe that we were made by an all powerful, all good and all knowing God in His image.  Now, if all of these things are true, who are we to deny the beauty or goodness that God has chosen to bestow upon us.  Do we think that it is merely an accident that we were made just the way that we are?  Do we not stop to think that the God who made mountains, continents, galaxies, and the cosmos put more thought and precision into making a creature bestowed with a living, breathing, immortal soul?  Stop and think about that. God put more thought into making you look and exist just the way that you are than He did while making the stars in the sky! YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE! He has gifted you with beauty and dignity.  When we deny this gift, we are belittling His creation, His power, and His love, not fostering in ourselves the virtue of humility.

        So, how do we remain humble while still acknowledging and accepting God's gift? I believe that a perfect model for this can be found in Mary's response to God's call.  She recognizes God's favor upon her saying, "all generations shall call me blessed," BUT she gives all the praise to God's power and majesty ("He that is mighty has done great things for me and holy is His name") and remembers her own unworthiness ("He has regarded the lowliness of His handmaid.")  Let this be our response.  Thank God for His gifts and His love despite Our own undeserving nature.

Beauty can change the world, so don't hide your light under a bushel.

When Was Your Last First Time?

 What is the last time you tried something new? This sentence is hung on my bedroom door.  As a child, the answer was a simple one...generally it was a day or even a few hours, but now I have to really think about it. 

We had a talk by Fr. Searby this year where he suggested that the source of the hook-up and drinking culture is a lack of adventure.  People don't know what to do on a Saturday night so they end up defaulting to the normal routine.  But when did we lose that willingness to try new things?

As kids, the world is ours to explore.  Things as small as crossing a bridge brought so much excitement. But around 11 or 12yrs old, I started wanting to become more of a grown up. I wanted to use more technology and to become more serious. You have friends over and you feel silly running through the woods together looking for pirates and we forget that there are other ways to explore.  We become businesslike adults to survive in the working world, but that urge for excitement never leaves. 

We have now grown into a generation of viewers not participants in adventures.  We sit for hours scrolling through Pintrest or watching discovery channel because somewhere out there are people who are having their own adventures.  We complain that we don't have enough money to travel, and then we content ourselves with buying high definition screens and faster internet speeds. Our world has become so open to us with faster easier ways to travel, but we have become closed to it because having an adventure is a little too scary and new.

So what can we do about this? How can we change our midset? Start by challenging yourself to do something new each day. It can be as small as putting a new outfit combination together, driving down a new road, putting something different on your sandwich, or listening to a new song.  Put a piece of paper on the fridge and write down the new thing for the day.  If you have a family or housemates challenge them to do the same and ask about it each night.  Then start seeing things as an adventure. Take a shower in the dark; light candles at dinner; make an interesting dinner; try an exotic fruit from the grocery store; go on a picnic; Anything! Just get up and do it!