A Beautiful Mess

I am going to tell you something a little silly so bear with me.

The other night I came home from work (it was a Friday) to an empty house and a mound of homework.  I sat there and all I wanted in that moment was to look pretty. No, there were no self-esteem issues involved, I just was tired of taking lightning fast showers at 6am and wearing sweaty t-shirts and crazy messy buns while running around with kids all day. I just wanted to feel like a woman in all her feminine finery. So, I took an hour to do full make-up, hair, and perfume to accompany a red dress and heels. I then waltzed down the stairs, sliced myself some brie cheese and buckled down to a night of Statistic homework in my full regalia. Now, for those of you who don't know me well, this seems just goofy, for those of you who do know me well and know how rarely I even put a little bit of mascara on, it is shocking. But there I was looking pretty.

        The next day, I woke up, jumped in the pool, and headed off to hike a long, hard, and rewarding trail with a good friend who was visiting from out of town.  The views were breathtaking, the cliff faces impressive, and the company sublime.  My friend would stop at every overlook jumping up and down saying (in a British accent) "It is just, simply BEAUTIFUL!!!!!" But, I realized after coming home today with cuts all over and smelling horrible, that I too felt "just, simply beautiful!"

       This phenomenon has happened to me time and time again where in some of my more "bushman" moments, I feel the most like a woman.  I realized it is because I shared something with the mountains in that moment.  To be beautiful is for there to be a gentle strength, a melodious sturdiness. Another close friend remarked that the beauty of nature lies in the chaotic order, and what better way to describe the beauty of a woman.
         Despite what google images displays, beauty is not just a face well done with make-up, it is the chaotic order that makes up a woman; her emotions, her movements, her drives, her words, her looks. These are all un-comprehendible, and yet, it is this combination of seeming contradictions that make a woman share in the beauty of the world.  You would never describe a man as beautiful. No, he is "strong, handsome, brave, daring," but these words are so simple in comparison to the words describing women - "enchanting, radiant, captivating, beautiful." These are words that require a complexity far beyond one physical or emotional factor.

           All this is to say, that when you confuse even yourself, or when others ridicule you for not being "simple" or for "not making sense," don't try to change yourself to be one of the boys, to fit in. I'm not saying that this is a license to be dramatic or petty, but it is a challenge to be something so much more.  Take the leap, dive in, and be beautiful.  

I am Beautiful: I'm Not Afraid to Say It

       There are times that I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, I am beautiful!"  For years I thought that for most women (in the words of one comedian) "at some point in their lives, there is a night that they know they may secretly be a model." But, I'm starting to find out more and more that this is far from being true.
        

            

                Women tend to cut, starve, contour, and pose their body, face, and personality while aggressively trying to dodge and deflect every complement that comes their way with a vigilance and a rigor that places them on the level of the FBI. They carry this habit into the songs they sing, the books they write, and the education that they give their children by example.  Yet, the more that they scrape down their confidence, for some bizarre reason, they become more and more unhappy! Why do we do this to ourselves? What purpose does all of this energy and effort work towards? Not only is it a miserable way to live, but it is also a direct rejection of God and His gifts.

      Now, although, the Bible warns against pride time and time again, it never condemns and, in fact, it praises those who are confident in themselves as the Lord's creation.  So often the way women talk about themselves seems to imitate Puritanical views of humans being " the scum of the earth" and our bodies being "corrupt" and "evil."  These views stand in stark contrast with Bible verses such as Psalm 139:14 which says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

       

        We believe that we were made by an all powerful, all good and all knowing God in His image.  Now, if all of these things are true, who are we to deny the beauty or goodness that God has chosen to bestow upon us.  Do we think that it is merely an accident that we were made just the way that we are?  Do we not stop to think that the God who made mountains, continents, galaxies, and the cosmos put more thought and precision into making a creature bestowed with a living, breathing, immortal soul?  Stop and think about that. God put more thought into making you look and exist just the way that you are than He did while making the stars in the sky! YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE! He has gifted you with beauty and dignity.  When we deny this gift, we are belittling His creation, His power, and His love, not fostering in ourselves the virtue of humility.

        So, how do we remain humble while still acknowledging and accepting God's gift? I believe that a perfect model for this can be found in Mary's response to God's call.  She recognizes God's favor upon her saying, "all generations shall call me blessed," BUT she gives all the praise to God's power and majesty ("He that is mighty has done great things for me and holy is His name") and remembers her own unworthiness ("He has regarded the lowliness of His handmaid.")  Let this be our response.  Thank God for His gifts and His love despite Our own undeserving nature.

Beauty can change the world, so don't hide your light under a bushel.